Goal-free Living: The Book
In the summer of 2006, one of the books I have read is Goal-Free Living of Stephen M. Shapiro, who confesses in the beginning of the book that he used to chase goals month after month, neglecting to enjoy the moment in the passing. What I recognize from this is the tunnel vision that arises once you let yourself be led by some distant goal and not noticing things of value that are around you, simply because they do not fit in your scope of interest.
The eight secrets of Goal-Free Living according to Shapiro are:
- Follow your compass, don’t chart your life in advance
Follow the path set by your specific skills, passion and your unique way to make a contribution on a day by day basis. Experiment. Look into your inner self to discover the way you want to take the next steps. Your path is unique and the only one who can find it is you. - With the right mindset, you can recognize what is good for you
Trust that whatever you decide to do is OK, as long as you use the right mindset. Don’t run away from changing your life, if that is what it takes to align with the way you want to contribute to the world. Trust your intuition, the little voice inside that can tell you what is wholesome, and your self-awareness. Commit to what is good for you, if you do not do it, who will? - Staying alert you can spot opportunities, however subtle
If you live with an open mind and are aware of your encounters when they happen, it is easier to recognize opportunities. - Want what you have
Appreciate what you have in life, starting with yourself. Do not expect happiness to arise from gaining more material goods. - Try out new things, be creative
Dare to take risks and to put your career or one or more relationships on the line to give your life a new direction. Boost your creativity by thinking ‘outside the box’. Get out of your comfort zone. Shapiro also recommends carrying a notebook to capture ideas as they arise. - Become a peoples magnet
It does not seem obvious right away, but a big part of keeping an open mind and using your compass, is the contact with others. In business, social networks are considered important because you never know where your next big contract will come from. So, even though you do not run a company, be alert that everyone you meet could provide you with the insight you need, an idea, or help you make a decision. (Shapiro avoids writing that they could help you achieve your goals of course.) - Embrace your limits
When you know what your inadequacies are and do not resist them, you may find a way to turn them into strengths. This requires insight and acceptance. I like the Chines proverb in the starting page of this chapter: “What you resist, persists.” - Remain detached
Once you have learned to implement the goal-free living, the difficult part is to let your goals free and stay detached for the rest of your life. There is still the danger that you will cling to the next project that comes along and turn it to your personal goal. Life in the present moment and stay inspired.
I found the book inspiring to read. Nevertheless, it did not change my life or give me any important ideas. What is good about it though is that you think about living totally without goals. Is that possible? Can you achieve (especially larger) things without looking at the future? I guess not.
What I have seen myself, is an ambitious man who started with a demanding 5 year course to get his MBA, during which he experienced the goal of getting the diploma as a burden, and almost lost contact with his wife and children because he was studying all the time. I think for that guy the sacrifice was bigger than the gain.
Mindfulness is important and living in the present moment. Also, making contact with your deeper motives, transcending your blockades by insight and recognizing resistance when it occurs. This book can be a start when you want to succumb to the burden of too much deadlines and goals. It does not go very deep, but appeals to a bigger audience by staying down to earth and using ideas related to common sense.
Christopher Richards said,
May 3, 2007 at 6:40 pm
This all makes a lot of sense to me. I was at a management meeting some time ago and a consultant came out with “Planning is Useless”. I like that slogan. Most of the people around the table were in the business of prognosticating about the future. But the future is not static. The present is in flux.
Of course, we have to make some sort of plan for what we going to do next. But the trick is to not hold on too tightly.
I just finished the book called, A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder, by Eric Abrahamon and David Freedman.
Essentially that book is about flexibility and rigidity. Having strong goals and following them blindly, is just that—blind! Bureaucracies are particularly prone to long-term planning and by the time the road is built, it is obsolete, or the computer system is finally in place but it is now no longer adequate. Too much goal orientation can be at the expense of spontaneity, flexibility, and the ability to improvise. I’m convinced life is an improvised event.
The goal-oriented image that comes to mind is of a carthorse with blinkers on its eyes so it won’t get distracted from anything that is in not front of it. When we have our mind set on a future goal we can miss out what’s going on right now. Sounds a bit like some religions, doesn’t it? Suffer now but be rewarded in heaven. Or, work hard now and enjoy retirement later.
We miss out what is at the side of the road by being too obsessed with attaining a goal. But it’s a matter of degree. The slow ethic is one of moderation. If we are too, goal –oriented, we miss out being present.
We had an earthquake here yesterday. I live in California. It was a small one. But it could have been the big one. People here can do one of three things: live in denial and hope that it won’t happen, (I sometimes do that) move away to be safe, or realize that any day could be our last (I sometimes do that, too), and we shouldn’t expect to be around for a long time. Carpe diem.
I’d like Shapiro’s item number four. Appreciation doesn’t seem to come naturally. Appreciation is an internal state. It’s not about something that’s out there. Appreciation may be hard-won tough living life.
I do think appreciation is closely linked to happiness. It’s easy to come across people who are striving for more and more things out there that will somehow make them feel good inside. But no matter how many more “things” one may have it doesn’t seem to lead to the satisfaction.
So what is satisfying? It’s different for all of us.
People are different. Those three words have enormous power for me. Much unhappiness seems to come from wanting other people to be like ourselves. But if we embrace the notion that people are simply different, then it can let us be more appreciative of them. It’s a kind of anti-competition stance. That may be a bit heretical for such a competitive society.
Comparing ourselves to others is a perfect way to make ourselves miserable. But it seems through education and conditioning we are compelled to do so. If we have to engage in this futile activity, then let’s compare ourselves to everyone else on planet Earth.
Each unique person is an entire universe unto himself, or herself. Each of us is a singularity. I say, celebrate our uniqueness. I think that is what Shapiro may be saying when he talks about, “With the right mind set, you can recognize what is good for you.”
But we have to recognize what is good for us. I believe that slowing down, being quiet, and having some unstructured time gives us the space to be in contact with are non judgmental internal state: our private world.
Of course, if you’ve avoided your private world, and need entertaining or distractions of a radio, TV, or the computer, then slowing down can be uncharted territory. It can be frightening. As I like to say, slowing down isn’t for everyone, just as aging isn’t for sissies.
Goal-free living makes sense to those who in fact have already worked it out for themselves. But I doubt by reading a book on the subject, it will change another person’s life. I’m not saying that books don’t, or can’t, change your life. I am convinced they do.
Following a list of instructions is a path to a goal and Shapiro is offering just that. I think change comes not from instruction, but through experience. It’s only if a book ignites the imagination and creates an internal experience. And that is what stories do.
Christopher
http://www.SlowDownNow.org
ton said,
May 3, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Thank you for your contribution, Christopher! It’s a great article.