Comments on: Goal-free Living: The Book http://tonsoftime.com/2007/04/22/goal-free-living-the-book/ Un-stress, organize, slow down Wed, 07 Jan 2009 03:00:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2 By: ton http://tonsoftime.com/2007/04/22/goal-free-living-the-book/#comment-8 ton Thu, 03 May 2007 19:53:24 +0000 http://tonsoftime.com/2007/04/22/goal-free-living-the-book/#comment-8 Thank you for your contribution, Christopher! It's a great article. Thank you for your contribution, Christopher! It’s a great article.

]]> By: Christopher Richards http://tonsoftime.com/2007/04/22/goal-free-living-the-book/#comment-7 Christopher Richards Thu, 03 May 2007 16:40:29 +0000 http://tonsoftime.com/2007/04/22/goal-free-living-the-book/#comment-7 This all makes a lot of sense to me. I was at a management meeting some time ago and a consultant came out with “Planning is Useless”. I like that slogan. Most of the people around the table were in the business of prognosticating about the future. But the future is not static. The present is in flux. Of course, we have to make some sort of plan for what we going to do next. But the trick is to not hold on too tightly. I just finished the book called, A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder, by Eric Abrahamon and David Freedman. Essentially that book is about flexibility and rigidity. Having strong goals and following them blindly, is just that—blind! Bureaucracies are particularly prone to long-term planning and by the time the road is built, it is obsolete, or the computer system is finally in place but it is now no longer adequate. Too much goal orientation can be at the expense of spontaneity, flexibility, and the ability to improvise. I’m convinced life is an improvised event. The goal-oriented image that comes to mind is of a carthorse with blinkers on its eyes so it won’t get distracted from anything that is in not front of it. When we have our mind set on a future goal we can miss out what’s going on right now. Sounds a bit like some religions, doesn’t it? Suffer now but be rewarded in heaven. Or, work hard now and enjoy retirement later. We miss out what is at the side of the road by being too obsessed with attaining a goal. But it’s a matter of degree. The slow ethic is one of moderation. If we are too, goal –oriented, we miss out being present. We had an earthquake here yesterday. I live in California. It was a small one. But it could have been the big one. People here can do one of three things: live in denial and hope that it won’t happen, (I sometimes do that) move away to be safe, or realize that any day could be our last (I sometimes do that, too), and we shouldn’t expect to be around for a long time. Carpe diem. I’d like Shapiro’s item number four. Appreciation doesn’t seem to come naturally. Appreciation is an internal state. It’s not about something that’s out there. Appreciation may be hard-won tough living life. I do think appreciation is closely linked to happiness. It’s easy to come across people who are striving for more and more things out there that will somehow make them feel good inside. But no matter how many more “things” one may have it doesn’t seem to lead to the satisfaction. So what is satisfying? It’s different for all of us. People are different. Those three words have enormous power for me. Much unhappiness seems to come from wanting other people to be like ourselves. But if we embrace the notion that people are simply different, then it can let us be more appreciative of them. It’s a kind of anti-competition stance. That may be a bit heretical for such a competitive society. Comparing ourselves to others is a perfect way to make ourselves miserable. But it seems through education and conditioning we are compelled to do so. If we have to engage in this futile activity, then let’s compare ourselves to everyone else on planet Earth. Each unique person is an entire universe unto himself, or herself. Each of us is a singularity. I say, celebrate our uniqueness. I think that is what Shapiro may be saying when he talks about, “With the right mind set, you can recognize what is good for you.” But we have to recognize what is good for us. I believe that slowing down, being quiet, and having some unstructured time gives us the space to be in contact with are non judgmental internal state: our private world. Of course, if you’ve avoided your private world, and need entertaining or distractions of a radio, TV, or the computer, then slowing down can be uncharted territory. It can be frightening. As I like to say, slowing down isn’t for everyone, just as aging isn’t for sissies. Goal-free living makes sense to those who in fact have already worked it out for themselves. But I doubt by reading a book on the subject, it will change another person’s life. I’m not saying that books don’t, or can’t, change your life. I am convinced they do. Following a list of instructions is a path to a goal and Shapiro is offering just that. I think change comes not from instruction, but through experience. It’s only if a book ignites the imagination and creates an internal experience. And that is what stories do. Christopher <a href="http://www.slowdownnow.org" rel="nofollow">http://www.SlowDownNow.org</a> This all makes a lot of sense to me. I was at a management meeting some time ago and a consultant came out with “Planning is Useless”. I like that slogan. Most of the people around the table were in the business of prognosticating about the future. But the future is not static. The present is in flux.

Of course, we have to make some sort of plan for what we going to do next. But the trick is to not hold on too tightly.

I just finished the book called, A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder, by Eric Abrahamon and David Freedman.

Essentially that book is about flexibility and rigidity. Having strong goals and following them blindly, is just that—blind! Bureaucracies are particularly prone to long-term planning and by the time the road is built, it is obsolete, or the computer system is finally in place but it is now no longer adequate. Too much goal orientation can be at the expense of spontaneity, flexibility, and the ability to improvise. I’m convinced life is an improvised event.

The goal-oriented image that comes to mind is of a carthorse with blinkers on its eyes so it won’t get distracted from anything that is in not front of it. When we have our mind set on a future goal we can miss out what’s going on right now. Sounds a bit like some religions, doesn’t it? Suffer now but be rewarded in heaven. Or, work hard now and enjoy retirement later.

We miss out what is at the side of the road by being too obsessed with attaining a goal. But it’s a matter of degree. The slow ethic is one of moderation. If we are too, goal –oriented, we miss out being present.

We had an earthquake here yesterday. I live in California. It was a small one. But it could have been the big one. People here can do one of three things: live in denial and hope that it won’t happen, (I sometimes do that) move away to be safe, or realize that any day could be our last (I sometimes do that, too), and we shouldn’t expect to be around for a long time. Carpe diem.

I’d like Shapiro’s item number four. Appreciation doesn’t seem to come naturally. Appreciation is an internal state. It’s not about something that’s out there. Appreciation may be hard-won tough living life.

I do think appreciation is closely linked to happiness. It’s easy to come across people who are striving for more and more things out there that will somehow make them feel good inside. But no matter how many more “things” one may have it doesn’t seem to lead to the satisfaction.

So what is satisfying? It’s different for all of us.

People are different. Those three words have enormous power for me. Much unhappiness seems to come from wanting other people to be like ourselves. But if we embrace the notion that people are simply different, then it can let us be more appreciative of them. It’s a kind of anti-competition stance. That may be a bit heretical for such a competitive society.

Comparing ourselves to others is a perfect way to make ourselves miserable. But it seems through education and conditioning we are compelled to do so. If we have to engage in this futile activity, then let’s compare ourselves to everyone else on planet Earth.

Each unique person is an entire universe unto himself, or herself. Each of us is a singularity. I say, celebrate our uniqueness. I think that is what Shapiro may be saying when he talks about, “With the right mind set, you can recognize what is good for you.”

But we have to recognize what is good for us. I believe that slowing down, being quiet, and having some unstructured time gives us the space to be in contact with are non judgmental internal state: our private world.

Of course, if you’ve avoided your private world, and need entertaining or distractions of a radio, TV, or the computer, then slowing down can be uncharted territory. It can be frightening. As I like to say, slowing down isn’t for everyone, just as aging isn’t for sissies.

Goal-free living makes sense to those who in fact have already worked it out for themselves. But I doubt by reading a book on the subject, it will change another person’s life. I’m not saying that books don’t, or can’t, change your life. I am convinced they do.

Following a list of instructions is a path to a goal and Shapiro is offering just that. I think change comes not from instruction, but through experience. It’s only if a book ignites the imagination and creates an internal experience. And that is what stories do.

Christopher

http://www.SlowDownNow.org

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